I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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