True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
