If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
