The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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