So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
