Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
