I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
