with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
