I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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