A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Randomize
