No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Pooping to opera.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
