cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
