you turned your livingroom into a bong?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
