This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
