Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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