just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
