Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
