I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
