Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
