What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
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