I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
