I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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