super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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