i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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