here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
