If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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