This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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