quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
