you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
