He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
