I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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