yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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