I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
