He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
