do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
