i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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