yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
