Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
