omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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