My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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