BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
last night I used snow as a chaser
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize