We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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