dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
