You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
