this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
