2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
