your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Randomize
