3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
