We're facebook friends in real life
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
