I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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